Of Hogsmeade and Pink Underwear
by Hello360
Summary: Neville is late to Hogsmeade, and Professor McGonagall should probably just retire. Oneshot. Fifth year. For some reason Harry goes to muggle school in this fic. I don't know either.


It was a weekend, and so Hogwarts was taking longer at breakfast than was normal: this was simply because the students had nowhere to be directly afterwards, as they were not going into Hogsmeade until noon.

Ron and Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table; Ron stuffing his face with eggs, and Hermione, long finished, reading Hogwarts, A History for what was likely the twentieth time.

It was nearing on eleven o'clock, and Neville was elsewhere changing his clothes after Ron had spat sausage all over his original outfit. After it had happened, Neville had left the table with the kind of resigned frustration apparent in someone to whom this was not a new occurrence.

Ginny was sitting at the Ravenclaw table with Luna; they had planned on discussing an assignment Professor Snape had set for all of his classes, but the conversation had somehow to turned to them complaining about how much of a git their Professor was.

Suddenly Professor Dumbledore arose, and cleared his throat. Hermione took note of the page she was on and began to listen intently. Ron continued to eat, but every now and then glanced up at where the professors were. Ginny and Luna continued their conversation in quieter tones, but did not become silent.

Dumbledore declared that the party leaving for Hogwarts would be departing in three-quarters of an hour and kindly asked his students to return to their common rooms, and make certain that their dormitories were clean.

At twelve o'clock the the students congregated outside the main doors into Hogwarts so that they could be checked off by their head of house and allowed make the walk down to Hogsmeade. The only students still inside the castle were all the first and second years, some fifth and seventh years who wanted to get some studying done, and Neville Longbottom.

After getting their names marked down by Professor McGonagall, Ron and Hermione dodged a huddle of excited third years and started the walk to Hogsmeade. It was not until they passed a sign welcoming them into Hogsmeade they they realised that they had not seen Neville amongst the group of students outside the castle.

"He can't still be changing his clothes!" exclaimed Hermione.

"Yeah," Ron replied, "but you know how the bloke is, something probably happened and he had to do it all over again."

Hermione hummed her agreement, and they continued their walk past the sign, into the village.

It was edging on Autumn, and so coloured leaves were raining down on Hogsmeade. Luna likened it to a fire; a beautifuly ravaging storm in hues of red and yellow and orange.

"I suppose you're right" Ginny told her friend, "I've never quite looked at it like that before."

Ginny and Luna had waited at the gate to the castle for Neville, until they had been the last students left.

"Go on into Hogsmeade" Professor McGonagall had told them, "I'll see if I can see what has happened to Mr Longbottom."

So Ginny and Luna did: they went into The Three Broomsticks, ordered two butterbeers, and sat down at a table to wait for their friends.

* * *

Ron and Hermione's first stop was Honydukes at Ron's insistence, where he bought some chocolate frogs and every-flavour beans, and Hermione berated him on his dental hygiene.

As they were leaving the shop, Ron was surprised to feel Neville's hand on his shoulder.

"Blimey Neville!" he exclaimed, "where the bloody hell did you come from?!"

Neville gestured vaguely behind himself, and ushered Ron and Hermione out of the shop.

The three of them made their way to The Three Broomsticks so that they could sit down and talk. Upon entering the pub, Ginny spotted them and waved wildly for them to join her and Luna at their table.

As soon as he sat down, Ginny demanded of Neville "where have you been?" But he was unable to answer as at that moment Madam Rosmerta came over to their table to take their orders.

Three more butterbeers were ordered, and Neville began his story: "You won't believe me," he said "but here's exactly what happened:

"So I was in the dorm, changing my clothes after _someone"_ and here he looked pointedly at Ron, "spat their breakfast all over my clean trousers."

"It wasn't _that_ bad," Ron interjected.

"Oh, honestly, Ronald," said Hermione "he looked like he could have been someone's breakfast himself."

"For the record, Ron, I forgive you, and it's already forgotten," said Neville, "but the reason I was late is that after I had changed, every single item of clothing I was not wearing turned bright pink."

Ron and Ginny started giggling uncontrollably until Hermione glared at them.

"Now I don't actually mind pink" said Neville, "but if all your clothing is the same colour, it doesn't really work, does it?"

They all nodded.

"Anyway, I went down to the common room to see if there was anyone who could maybe figure out how to fix it, and there was just this one seventh year, Kenneth Towler, you know?"

"Who?" Ron asked.

"Fred put Bulbadox powder in his pyjamas that one time, Ron" said Ginny, "It was like two years ago."

"Yeah," said Neville, "Anyway I told him my problem, and he came up into the dorm with me (he's really nice, by the way) but nothing worked."

"Did he try _Finite Incantatem_?" asked Hermione.

"It wasn't a spell," said Neville, delighting in the shocked expressions his friends were giving him, "someone had dyed my clothes the muggle way."

"Wait I don't understand," said Ginny, "how did they all change colour at that same time without you seeing anyone?"

"Neville, whoever dyed your clothes must have charmed them to appear normal until you did something today that triggered the spell to fall," said Hermione.

"I haven't finished yet," said Neville, "so after Towler figured out that my clothes turning pink was not directly the cause of any spell, he gave up. He was laughing at me. I asked him if he was any good at those sort of charms and he goes 'I didn't do this Neville, I have no motive' and I'm like 'yeah, I know, I only meant that maybe you could charm them so they're different colours instead of all just pink." Here Neville sighed deeply. "I should have given up too; I should have just left them and bought new clothes."

"Merlin, Neville, what did you do," asked Ginny.

"Well Towler was all for leaving them pink and continuing studying for his NEWTs," said Neville, "so I went to the library to see if I could learn the charms myself."

"And?"

"Well there's this one book that seemed to be exactly what I needed." 

" _Practical Applications of Colour Charms and Why Artists Are Not the Only Wizards Who Should Use Them_?"

"Yeah, how'd you know Hermione?"

"I've read that book"

"Of course you have," said Ron.

"It's absolutely fascinating Ronald, it goes into all these details about-" Hermione stopped short, "so you should have been fine, Neville, with that book there's not any way you would have got the incantation _or_ the wand-movement incorrect."

Neville grimaced, "yeah, well I did."

"Oh no."

"I may have set fire to our dorm."

"Neville."

"It was an accident!"

"Even the biggest of accidents can be happy mistakes," declared Luna.

"You don't understand, Luna" said Neville, "I haven't simply changed the look of the dorm; Ron doesn't have a bed now."

"WHAT"

"Ron, calm down," said Ginny.

"What do you mean _, I don't have a bed now,_ Neville?"

Neville smiled nervously at Ron.

Ron sighed. "Tell me that's all, Neville."

"Unfortunately, no."

Ron's head made a significant _thump_ on the table.

* * *

"...and so I found myself next this statue, and I remembered something Harry had told me about a secret passage, and I ended up in the storage room at Honeydukes, and that's where I found you guys," finished Neville, gesturing at Ron and Hermione.

"So you just left the castle like that?" asked Ginny, "library flooded, McGonagall locked in with Moaning Myrtle, portraits covered in slime, etcetera, etcetera?"

"Yeah pretty much."

"Mate, Professor McGonagall is gonna be _pissed,_ " said Ron, a smile of admiration on his face.

"I didn't mean for any of it to happen!" said Neville, "and honestly I just want to know who dyed all my clothes pink."

"Maybe it was the nargles," suggested Luna.

"I don't know Luna," said Neville, "I'm pretty sure it was someone in Gryffindor."

The five of them heard a chuckle from by the wall, and a figure slipped out from under an invisibility cloak.

A squeal was heard, and Hermione launched herself into the person's arms.

It was Ginny who next recognised him, "Harry!"

"Bloody hell, mate, it's good to see you," said Ron.

"It was you!" exclaimed Neville.

"Hi, Harry," said Luna.

"Hi, Luna" replied Harry, "I'm sorry Neville, but it was really funny."

After ordering a butterbeer, Harry sat down with his friends, Neville forgave Harry, Harry took the full blame for what had happened (but Gryffindor still managed to lose two hundred points) and best of all, the six of them caught up for the first time since fourth year had ended.


End file.
